I Hate My Life: Finding peace in the chaos of reality

i hate my life

Am I the only one that hates my life?

Take a good look around. Most people, for one reason or another, have thought “I hate my life,” at some point. In fact, the majority of us have probably felt that way a lot more than once. You might hate your life at this exact moment.

Maybe it’s a dark, passing mood, a feeling that doesn’t linger too long. Maybe you can even laugh about it and get on with the rest of the day without any problems.

Some people, though, are in a constant struggle to break free from emotional turmoil and a cycle of negative thoughts. This mindset can wreak havoc on our mental health.

Fortunately, we can all take steps to find peace and happiness, regardless of our circumstances.

What are some reasons people say, “I hate my life”?

No one is safe from life’s unexpected curveballs. A healthy person may suddenly find themselves diagnosed with a chronic illness or dealing with chronic pain. Another may suffer from the loss of a loved one. Others struggle to survive toxic relationships or come to terms with childhood trauma. A once-in-a-lifetime pandemic[1] can affect everyone’s life in ways we never even imagined.

The list of reasons people might hate their life is virtually never-ending.

Still, it’s understandable to feel alone, like it’s you versus the world. Everyone faces challenges unique to their own life and situation. However, even if we feel isolated like no one else can grasp the magnitude of our problems, we’re not alone.

Research shows that more than 17 million people battled at least one episode of depression in 2017. That’s just over 7 percent of all adults in the United States[2]. Another measure is the amount of fear and worry Americans live with.

“Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 or older, or 18.1% of the population every year.”[3]

A staggering number of people – an estimated 20 million plus[4] – cope with an addiction to drugs or alcohol. In many of these cases, substance abuse is a way to self-medicate the very feelings that cause people to think, “I hate my life.”

What steps should I take to stop hating my life?

Strategies to find peace when you're thinking, I hate my life
Strategies to find peace when you’re thinking, I hate my life

It’s normal to do a little wallowing in self-pity. Everyone does it, but in the end, it’s not productive. When it feels like life has turned against us, here are some steps to take that might help change our perspectives:

  • Ask for help

We’ve heard it a hundred times because it’s true. Life is hard, but there are professionals that can help. If you’re struggling with depression, anxiety, or substance abuse, there are free resources that can point you in the right direction.

  • Develop healthy habits

Living a healthy life has a way of improving our outlook. It doesn’t have to be a drastic change. If you’re new to exercise, take it easy. Regular walks, a pleasant hike, or a slow bike ride on a regular basis. Try eating healthier foods and getting rid of some of the go-to junk food in the cupboard. Set a regular sleep and wake time, and stick to it. Even these relatively small changes can have big rewards for our mental health.

  • Learn to meditate

Research shows meditation can be as useful as antidepressant medication[5]. Finding a quiet moment, for five or 10 minutes each day can help ease anxiety and stress. It will also help clear your mind and provide a sense of calm.

  • Take action if possible

Some challenges in life need focus so that we can overcome them. Wishing we didn’t have a flat tire doesn’t fix it. We have to actually get a new tire. Of course, this is not always possible, especially if an issue is out of our control. If that’s the case, speak to a trusted friend or a therapist. This can help us develop coping strategies and just communicate our feelings.

  • Avoid alcohol and drugs

Not everybody struggles with substance abuse, but alcohol and drugs impact our mental health. When we’re dealing with negative or sad feelings, staying away from chemical depressants can help us get through this faster.

  • Don’t compare yourself to others

    meditation eases mental stress
    Meditation eases mental stress

This is a hard one. Sometimes even a glance at social media can send us spiraling. It truth, though, comparing our lives to other people’s is counterproductive. Sure, somebody might have something we want. They might also be dealing with problems we have no idea about and definitely do not want.

  • Go easy on yourself

Sometimes our inner dialogue is unnecessarily harsh. We can be downright mean to ourselves. If you find yourself doing this, take a breath, and stop the dialogue. Remember, everyone struggles and it’s okay to be scared, feel bad, or vulnerable. It will pass.

Finally, nobody’s life is perfect, regardless of their perceived circumstances, wealth, or social status. As a result, everyone says, “I hate my life,” at one time or another. It may take practice, but working our way out of a funk is within reach and a worthwhile effort.


[1] Coronavirus (COVID-19) – Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

[2] Major Depression – National Institute of Mental Health

[3] Anxiety and Depression Association of America

[4] Substance Use and Mental Health – National Institute of Mental Health

[5]What medication can do for your mind, mood and health” – Harvard Health Publishing